You can get a very clear view of yourself through the helpful feedback of those who are close to you. Therefore, the hopes and vision you cherish for the growth of your authentic personality will be worked over and refined in the conscious and nonconscious interchange with your partner and theirs with you. But that vision must always be on your own terms, not theirs.
Your vision must be your own. It should represent some direct and measureable improvement in yourself—responding to your needs, desires, dissatisfaction, questioning, or issues arising from self-acceptance. This sought after improvement must be in some sense your own. If it is an image of the gains of someone else then it is unlikely to be a strong action motivator.
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